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Title: Squirts on a Plane
Pairing: No real pairing, just a conversation between Iker Casillas and Cesc Fabregas.
Disclaimer: I don't own these players kthx.
Summary: Iker just got stuck with Cesc on the plane.
Author's Note: THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I WAS RELLEH RELLEH BORED.
And so begins the 1st of the Euro 08 fics by Faith Lee
Squirts on a Plane
‘So.’
‘So.’
‘Here we are.’
‘Yes.’
‘Sitting next to each other.’
‘Mmhmm.’
‘On the plane to… wherever it is we’re going.’
‘Innsbruck.’
‘Wherever it is we’re going.’
‘That’s in Austria.’
‘Again, I say, wherever it is –‘
‘Why are you still talking?’
‘Because… I want to talk to you. I’ve missed you.’
‘Please. Don’t talk.’
‘No, really. I have. Um. Missed you.’
‘Okay, well, you can talk and I can, uh, not listen. All right?’
‘A lot. You know, it gets lonely over there in England, all by myself –‘
‘Great. I’ll be over here, not listening.’
‘No one talks to me because I’m the weird Spaniard and it’s so lonely. I miss you constantly! Like a big brother!’
‘…’
‘Will you be my big brother?’
‘…’
‘Iker?’
‘…’
‘I know you’re listening.’
‘How can I not? You’re so fucking loud. Everyone on the plane can hear you.’
‘Everyone except for Torres. He’s passed out in the back. He can’t handle that half an hour time difference, you know – he’s still sleepy from the plane from England to Madrid.’
‘Why can’t you be sleepy?’
‘Because I’m awesome.’
‘No. It’s because you’re still a kid, and kids can bound around with no energy for weeks. Cesc the Squirt, that’s what I’m going to call you. Now shut up.’
‘Why are you so mean to me?’
‘Why are you so annoying?’
‘I’m not annoying!’
‘Yes, you are.’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Yes. Yes you are.’
‘No. No I am not.’
‘Cesc.’
‘Iker!’
‘Shut up.’
‘You shut up!’
‘…For God’s sake, Cesc. Grow up.’
‘I’m not talking to you anymore! Hmph!’
‘…Oh thank God.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘So did you see –‘
‘Oh my god, Cesc.’
‘No, really, did you see Sergio looking at Torres earlier? He looked like he wanted to cry. Either that, or rip Fernando’s clothes off or something.’
‘Cesc.’
‘And did you notice that Torres has been hanging out more with Alonso and Reina? What’s that about? Does he miss his new English loverboy or something? He can’t hang out with me anymore?’
‘Cesc.’
‘And why isn’t Raúl here? It feels so wrong without him here, like something’s missing. He’s like, our anchor. We’ll drift away without him!’
‘Cesc.’
‘And if Raúl is our captain and he isn’t here, who is our captain now?’
‘Cesc-‘
‘Well, whoever it is, they’re stupid because they aren’t Raúl. I love Raúl.’
‘I’m the captain, Cesc.’
‘Oh. Well, you suck.’
‘Wow. Gee, thanks, Cesc.’
‘No problem. I was just voicing my opinions, that’s all.’
‘Well, next time, please don’t.’
‘Fine.’
‘Fine.’
‘… So.’
‘No.’
‘No what?’
‘No. No to whatever it is you were going to say. Just no.’
‘I was going to say –‘
‘Nothing. You were going to say nothing.’
‘Something good!’
‘Don’t.’
‘I hate you.’
‘Good.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘SoI’mexcitedaboutplayingRussiahowabouty
‘…Are we there yet?’
FIN.
Pairing: No real pairing, just a conversation between Iker Casillas and Cesc Fabregas.
Disclaimer: I don't own these players kthx.
Summary: Iker just got stuck with Cesc on the plane.
Author's Note: THIS CAME OUT OF NOWHERE WHEN I WAS RELLEH RELLEH BORED.
And so begins the 1st of the Euro 08 fics by Faith Lee
Squirts on a Plane
‘So.’
‘So.’
‘Here we are.’
‘Yes.’
‘Sitting next to each other.’
‘Mmhmm.’
‘On the plane to… wherever it is we’re going.’
‘Innsbruck.’
‘Wherever it is we’re going.’
‘That’s in Austria.’
‘Again, I say, wherever it is –‘
‘Why are you still talking?’
‘Because… I want to talk to you. I’ve missed you.’
‘Please. Don’t talk.’
‘No, really. I have. Um. Missed you.’
‘Okay, well, you can talk and I can, uh, not listen. All right?’
‘A lot. You know, it gets lonely over there in England, all by myself –‘
‘Great. I’ll be over here, not listening.’
‘No one talks to me because I’m the weird Spaniard and it’s so lonely. I miss you constantly! Like a big brother!’
‘…’
‘Will you be my big brother?’
‘…’
‘Iker?’
‘…’
‘I know you’re listening.’
‘How can I not? You’re so fucking loud. Everyone on the plane can hear you.’
‘Everyone except for Torres. He’s passed out in the back. He can’t handle that half an hour time difference, you know – he’s still sleepy from the plane from England to Madrid.’
‘Why can’t you be sleepy?’
‘Because I’m awesome.’
‘No. It’s because you’re still a kid, and kids can bound around with no energy for weeks. Cesc the Squirt, that’s what I’m going to call you. Now shut up.’
‘Why are you so mean to me?’
‘Why are you so annoying?’
‘I’m not annoying!’
‘Yes, you are.’
‘No, I’m not.’
‘Yes. Yes you are.’
‘No. No I am not.’
‘Cesc.’
‘Iker!’
‘Shut up.’
‘You shut up!’
‘…For God’s sake, Cesc. Grow up.’
‘I’m not talking to you anymore! Hmph!’
‘…Oh thank God.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘So did you see –‘
‘Oh my god, Cesc.’
‘No, really, did you see Sergio looking at Torres earlier? He looked like he wanted to cry. Either that, or rip Fernando’s clothes off or something.’
‘Cesc.’
‘And did you notice that Torres has been hanging out more with Alonso and Reina? What’s that about? Does he miss his new English loverboy or something? He can’t hang out with me anymore?’
‘Cesc.’
‘And why isn’t Raúl here? It feels so wrong without him here, like something’s missing. He’s like, our anchor. We’ll drift away without him!’
‘Cesc.’
‘And if Raúl is our captain and he isn’t here, who is our captain now?’
‘Cesc-‘
‘Well, whoever it is, they’re stupid because they aren’t Raúl. I love Raúl.’
‘I’m the captain, Cesc.’
‘Oh. Well, you suck.’
‘Wow. Gee, thanks, Cesc.’
‘No problem. I was just voicing my opinions, that’s all.’
‘Well, next time, please don’t.’
‘Fine.’
‘Fine.’
‘… So.’
‘No.’
‘No what?’
‘No. No to whatever it is you were going to say. Just no.’
‘I was going to say –‘
‘Nothing. You were going to say nothing.’
‘Something good!’
‘Don’t.’
‘I hate you.’
‘Good.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…’
‘SoI’mexcitedaboutplayingRussiahowabouty
‘…Are we there yet?’
FIN.
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